Master and Man

We all know that feeling of winning. We go about each day waiting for moments when we feel it. That slight grin, that feeling inside.

Why is it so important for us to get that feeling. Almost to the point of ignoring others.

Winning is worth it, and who cares who it affects. I play chess online all the time with my grandpa. I notice that when I win, I feel good. It got to a point where I kept winning over and over again, then we started playing less because he felt bad losing. I just like his company. So if I let him win sometimes, so be it.

The whole idea of self sacrifice is interesting. Making others better at the expense of yourself. Sharing the "wealth" as they say, even if its not deserved.

I read this short story Leo Tolstoy, Master and Man. The main point of it was to see things from other peoples perspective. The author goes back and forth between the master and the servant, what they see and think. Just makes you think how easy it is to only see things from your own perspective. By seeing the servants perspective you feel for him. His love of animals, how good people get put into bad situations because either they misuse some substance, or get taken advantage of from other people. It's so much easier to not fight for yourself, but no one else will. You are so used to going about your daily life that you do things regardless of the consequences. Purely out of habit.

We are all just humans. Living on this earth. Just because you have more material things doesn't make you worth more as a human. I feel like if I ever obtain wealth it would be disappointing. Like I put all this importance on it.

I want to be extremely wealthy, more then anyone. Aside from buying food and shelter, all I do with money is just put it in the bank. Anger begets anger. Money begets money. Just makes me think that it can't be about the money. Does it have to be about something? You can focus on meditation, and being at peace through breathing. On beng aware and present, not needing or wanting to do anything but what happens. Like you're a wave doing your job going forward emotionless.

Marcus Aurelius talks about how insects just do their job. Humans are burdened with "just do your job" being a whole lot more. We have to deal with vices, constant decision making. Its a blessing that we're the first species to be able to enact free will. Your job he says, is to be human. To do as humans do. That means stop sleeping in, that means contributing to whatever humans are trying to accomplish. Society is a neat way that we coerce everyone with free will to contribute.

You do your job, you contribute, then what? Try to contribute more? We have the capacity to not be guided. We are given a fixed time. As long as we contribute the amount needed for survival, we can decide to fill our lives with whatever else you want. Because of this, our species are the best innovators. So many different people, doing whatever they find value out of.

If you can do something that takes a week for you, but would save someone else a year would you do it? Even if you didn't get paid? Its a weird world we live in. How it isn't an automatic yes.

You can do more if you're helping others. You're limited to your own personal wins. Your limited to your decisions having a 1 to 1 ratio. So you get more "wins" by helping others, does that mean you feel better?

I can see it being the case, but haven't really experienced it.

Is the goal to feel good, is there a limit to how good you can feel? Definitely in a moment, but if its spread out then maybe less so? We experience feelings from our senses, and our brain sending electricity for our body parts to feel. So there is a limit. If its spread out among many triggers that seems like the best way. Then we are limited by the amount of dopamine we have. If you are limited, you aren't limited to making others feel good. If you are looking for a purpose in life, maybe that adds to yours.

In summary, everyone lives there life only knowing what they know. You can't blame them for that. Just try to treat others how you would want to be treated.

This has been a letter from a coder.

Best Regards, Tyler Farkas